CSI: Crime Scene Investigation – Series Finale – Immortality (2015)

created and written by Anthony E. Zuiker

directed by Louis Milito

For nine seasons I watched CSI: Crime Scene Investigation diligently. I thought it was a solid police procedural, full of inventive whodunits, slick editing and photography, and glossy investigative montages. Fun stuff. Plus it was held together by William Petersen’s quirky performance as CSI supervisor Gil Grissom, a brilliant yet socially awkward forensic entomologist. But by the end of the ninth year, Petersen left the show and so did I. The series had run out of steam for me, even though it would continue for six more years and spawn three spin-offs. That’s network TV milking a property for all it can.

When I heard that Petersen would come back for the two-hour series finale, Immortality, I felt somewhat excited and decided to give it a chance. I shouldn’t have bothered. This is bar none one of the worst sendoffs I’ve ever seen… and believe me, I suffered through the endings of both The X-Files (1993-2002) and Lost (2004-2010). To go into the plot details would be pointless – something about a mad bomber with a ludicrous plan for Las Vegas. But all I can remember is the inane dialogue, confusing editing, and terrible, terrible acting from all involved. To add insult to injury, Grissom’s on-and-off romantic relationship with fellow investigator Sara Sidle (Jorja Fox) is brought to a close in a mawkish, totally unbelievable resolution in which they sail off on a boat together. Please kill me now.

Sorry, Gil. I really had high hopes for your return. But I will now place this final CSI in my “things that were never made” archive, where I keep things such as Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008).

Rating: *

Carlos I. Cuevas